I am currently dealing with the situation of a young person who is very ambivalent about whether he wants to make a positive change in his life. He has already lived a lifetime in 17 years. It feels like he is at the precipice of something important. Then again, we are all always at the precipice of new possibility.

I wish that I could share something of value with him that might be helpful to his ongoing journey. I wish that I could find just the right combination of wise words to provide profound insight. I wish that this was an after-school special where the problems could be resolved within one hour. I find myself daydreaming about being the lead character in one of those problematic “teacher as hero” movies – Dangerous Minds, Freedom Writers or better yet Stand and Deliver. At times like this, I feel particularly disembodied. It’s almost like I am floating outside of myself acting as a narrator of my experience rather than a participant. I recognize this – I am trying to protect myself.

The young man is not ready and I know it. I can’t push him. Over and over again, I say to myself: “You are just one stop on his journey. He may still have many more stops to make.” This is my mantra for the time being. I understand this on an intellectual basis. Yet what I want to do, if I am being honest, is to scream at the top of my lungs: “You are going to end up back in prison if you don’t STOP doing what you are doing. They are going to lock you up again.”

I am struggling today not to make this all about me. But I am failing miserably, I think. I’d like to be able to say that I am doing really well at pushing my ego aside and just letting him move at his own pace. I’d like to say that but it would not be true. I want to grab him by his shoulders and shake him until he decides to heed my advice; until he decides to follow through on something. I am failing miserably and I know it. I hope to do better tomorrow. I have to.

Last week, the young man told me that he has an angel and a devil on his shoulder. He said that they are at war on a daily basis, perhaps even every minute. I think we can all relate to this in our own way. I e-mailed him a parable that I like called the “wolf story.” It is one that I have heard repeated often and in many different contexts. I hope that it makes some sort of impression on him but I don’t know. I can only hope. I will share it here with all of you too. Perhaps it might resonate in your own lives.

One evening, an old Cherokee told his grandson
about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “My son, there is a battle, each day
between 2 wolves inside us all.”

One is Evil.
It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance,
self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies,
false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is good.
It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness,
benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion,
faith in the creator, faith in yourself, and faith in others.

The grandson thought about it for a minute
and then asked his grandfather,
“Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied,
“The one you feed.”

For my part, I am going to try to feed my good wolf today. I am praying that the young man who I am working with figures out which wolf he will feed, and soon.