A dozen of us sat in circle and made wishes for you, Marissa. All of us women; always women. We harnessed energy from Chicago and channeled it toward you in Florida. Some of us read poetry and all of us shared words expressing our fears, anger, and most of all our hopes. We lit candles to conjure your spirit. We were together in solidarity with each other and with you, Marissa.

Chicago Candlelight Vigil for Marissa Alexander, 10/28/13

I wonder if you could feel our love while locked in that cage. You are not alone and I hope you know that in the depths of your soul, Marissa. Audre once wrote:

This woman is Black
so her blood is shed into silence
this woman is Black
so her death falls to earth
like the drippings of birds
to be washed away with silence and rain.

Source: Of Need: A Chorale of Black Women’s Voices by Audre Lorde

Last night, we tried to banish the silence, Marissa. We gathered in defiance of the violence that marks so many of our lives; most especially black women’s lives. We gathered to acknowledge and then to resist the battering, verbal abuse, stalking, rape, street harassment, incest, molestation, poverty, imprisonment and the murder that affects too many women, too many black women. Go away violence, go away incarceration, go away death… A litany, our collective chant.

As I tried to settle the butterflies that feel like bees stinging from the inside, the circle embraced and soothed me. I picked a card from a pile on the quilt lovingly made by my friends as a gift when I turned 40. I turned it over; it read “tenderness.” And so as I lit my candle to help light your way, I wished for more tenderness in the world and for you, Marissa.

Chicago Candlelight Vigil for Marissa Alexander, 10/28/13

I’m remembering Mary Wilson who 100 years ago in 1913 was charged with murder. She was arrested in February in San Antonio, Texas for killing a trooper named Olaf Olson. They say she confessed, Marissa. Like you, they held Mary without bail. She said that the soldier threatened her. She tried to flee to a friend’s home but Olson followed her and he grabbed her. She was scared, Marissa. She thought that “he intended to do her bodily injury.” Mary “drew a revolver and shot him.” It was self-defense, Marissa. But, like you, Mary was caged because mere flesh is not a self. And we black women have no selves to defend. So, in a very real way, we are in prison with you too, Marissa.

I hope that Mary had sisters who kept vigil for her. I hope…

When I was younger, I read an essay by Alice Walker about her failed attempts to visit another black woman who was severely punished for defending herself and a friend from certain rape. Her name was Dessie. As she languished behind bars in solitary confinement, Alice Walker & thousands of others kept faith and vigil.

We had some good news yesterday, Marissa. After 19 years in prison, Sara Kruzan is FINALLY being released on parole. She was convicted & sentenced to life without the possibility of parole at 17 for killing the man who had sexually abused and then prostituted her. So Sara will be freed. She’s had many sisters who’ve kept vigil for her over the years. So, we hold on to hope that you will join Sara in the “free world” soon too, Marissa.

Yesterday, a dozen of us sat in circle and made wishes for you, Marissa… May you soon be free.