I am privileged to share the following words that I received from a new acquaintance named Randy. Randy is serving a 45 year sentence and has already been incarcerated for 7 years. He is very interested in supporting youth in trouble with the law. He is hoping that by sharing his experience and story he can, in his own words, “deter kids from making the same mistakes I have made and traveling down the same path that leads to no where.” Here is a short piece by Randy titled “Loss.”

Loss is defined in many ways, from the harm resulting in losing, ruin, and failure to win. Common people may think of loss and picture losing money, an intimate relationship that didn’t work out, or the greatest loss any of us can face, the loss of a loved one.

Prison gives a much more detailed and harsh definition of loss. Prison takes your dignity from you in many ways, from random strip searches, where you are naked in front of a guard you may have never seen before, to showers with large groups of individuals, in sight of many more. A small two man cell with no divider for the toilet and an environment that offers no privacy what-so-ever.

In prison, you will lose your personal identity, as you answer to a number, wear the exact same clothes as everyone else, eat, sleep, shower, shave, and use the toilet when you are told. Prison makes you part of a system designed to eliminate any feeling of individualism and breakdown your self-worth, by constantly reminding you of the fact that you have absolutely no control over your own life.

The greatest and most painful loss you will come to know in prison, is the realization that no matter how long you spend in prison, no matter how hard you may try to do well and change yourself, and no matter how much pain you go through. There is nothing you can do, to undo, the loss, the pain and the hardships that our actions have caused our victims. That loss we have to carry with us everyday for the rest of our lives.